I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
