but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
