My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
