He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
