So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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