while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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