Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
