i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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