just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
