hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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