Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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