I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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