We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
