Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Someone shit on the floor
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
