haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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