Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Randomize
