Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
