Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
