is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
