Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
