Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Alive.
So much puke
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
