I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
