Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
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