I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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