Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
