just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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