He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
