I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
