your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Define "chronic" masturbator.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
