Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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