Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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