Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
