I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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