I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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