then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
