Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
