Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
