I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
wat bout pragnant strippers??
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
