I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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