you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Randomize
