you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
