Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
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I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
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No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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