Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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