I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
