he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
