goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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