I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
