Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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