i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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