Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
