i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
