THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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