He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
