I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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