Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
