how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
