plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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