I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
