So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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