I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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