i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
