Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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