No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
