hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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