ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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