you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
