so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
